Monday, July 14, 2008

Relationships: What chasing a guy/girl can do to your long-term goals!


HAHAHA!

I thought I'd never touch a topic like this. However, it seems to be a problem in my opinion.

Honestly, as a teen, having a boy/girlfriend isn't necessary at all. It tends to be a fad... "Everyone is doing it"... True enough, but what are they really gaining from the individual they're with?

I once told myself that I would no longer date guys who don't have a strong sense of self, LONG-TERM goals, an education, a platform and a clear view of the life ahead of him. Is that asking too much? Not at all. It's worked out pretty well for me too!

What we tend to do as humans is focus on the short-term; what will look/feel good now? But your ultimate happiness is key! Focusing on the now could put a damper on your future. It could cause you to make decisions that could change your life, FOR THE WORSE!

For example... It's senior year and you've just met this cute guy. He has a car, a job at the local bookstore, and he's pretty much content there. You fall head over heels for this guy, to only find out that in August you'll be leaving for an Ivy-league school, and he'll be promoted to cashier at the bookstore. OH NO! What are you going to do 500 miles away from the guy that you think you're going to spend the rest of your life with??? Your solution... "I'll go to a local college and build my life around someone who clearly doesn't have any plans for his life!!!"

THAT IS THE WRONG ANSWER AND THE WRONG ATTITUDE TO HAVE. DO YOU SEE HOW CHASING THAT GUY HAS SENT YOU ON A DETOUR? LOW AND BEHOLD YOU DON'T GO TO SCHOOL AT ALL AND YOU GUYS BREAK UP. NOW WHAT?

This is truly something to think about considering the Fall semester is approaching and a lot of you guys will face that BIG question: "What will chasing him/her do to my goals?"

My advice is to stay true to yourself and evaluate who you are. Take time out and think about the person you want to be. Think about the person you are with, or wish that you were with, and evaluate them as well. If your goals in life don't match the least bit, RECONSIDER your options and focus on YOU!

11 comments:

Mike said...

All I know is, I went after the girl I really wanted in college. I got her.. but man did my grades drop while I was in pursuit..

Miss Building Blocks said...

Yes- that's something that you'll have to face if things actually go that far! Thanks, I may add another post about Relationships and Grades in the near future!

sylleia said...

One of my coworkers from when I was working at Six Flags was accepted into UCLA, but she was debating whether or not she should just stay here and go to a community college with her boyfriend. My manager, supervisor, and I screamed, "HELL NO."

...and now she's very much content at UCLA. haha

In other words...

werd.

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Darshan Chande said...

You've got nice thoughts. The article is really very good and well expressed. Heppy blogging!!

Thanks for commenting on mine ;-) Good bless you.

Ash said...

Kudos! I love your blogs, very inspiring. =D

-Mila

danicaJ said...

wow this tottally reminds me of my friends.. her grades were really good she got accepted to binghampton and didnt goo because she would be to far away from her b.f

but anywayy...

i like ur post your really smart !

starmoonsun said...

hey i love your posts they're really interesting especially this one, I totally wish I would've known this fact about not chasing people and just have time to myself. i spent my first year in college chasing this one guy just to find out that in the end he was never worth it or anything. It made me mad too because I missed out on a lot of social life during that year. in other words, i wish i read this post before that ever happened! haha

xoLoveMexo said...

This is very true. A lot of time teens get swept up in the whole "love" idea and do not focus on what is really important, THEIR FUTURE! Great post!

Madame Belle said...

I've seen this happen to friends before and I've never known what to do about it... now I can just show them this blog!

[Here's my take on the issue as a youngester in love, if you don't mind...]

I'd like to say though, this isn't true for all relationships. In fact, my boyfriend and my grades actually improved when we started dating. I went from six A's and a B to all A's and he went from a 4.0 to... well he stayed the same, but he worked harder to keep it that way!

While sometimes it is true that realtionships can be distracting, just as often they can be an encourgement to do better. You think, If I do really well, he/she will be proud of me or We can spend more time togehter... Or, as in my case, his extreme intelligence makes me want to do better in school and my passion for Criminal Psychology lead him to finally settle down and choose a carrer to shoot for after being indecisive for years.

As for the college issue, that is truly sad when it happens. No matter how in love two people are, one shouldn't lower their expectations when it comes to life just beacause the other is too lazy to do anything. If it was meant to work out, you'll find a way to make it happen, even across the country, right?

On the other hand, I think it's extremly health for a couple to go to the same college. It will give them a better understanding of their realtionship because not only will they be indpendent and able to make their own choices, but there is the possibility that they can live together. It would be a true test of their realationship because up until then, it had only been high school. All of a sudden its the "real world", which can show you where you two stand future wise.

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